The Hubbs

I’m dedicating this page to the Hubbs. Specifically, to the funny, zany, off-the-wall stuff he says. I think he’s an amusing guy — its one of the reasons I love him so much — despite how often I roll my eyes at him.

I’m going to have to update this page a lot.

July 22, 2013:”You’re such a dirty monkey, I can’t BELIEVE the things you’re saying right now.”
Me (while eating): “What did I say?”
“You said you wanted to … (omitted, but you catch the drift.)”
Me: “I actually said that? As in, the words actually came out of my mouth?”
“I was reading between the lines, baby. I’m really good at that.”
Me: “Clearly you need stronger glasses.”

Sept. 9, 2011 (during dinner, telling me how it felt to rush home from his walk because a freak lightning storm hit our area):
“It was like the hands of God were hoovering just above me, waiting for the perfect moment to SMACK me down like a fly!”

Sept. 8, 2011 (via twitter):
“The nice old lady who sold me a big stack of pain relief products at CVS this morning had more sympathy for my softball injury than my wife.”

Sept. 15, 2011 (via e-mail):
“Somehow I just went from a conversation about workplace acronyms into making an argument that I can technically call myself an international man of mystery because I’ve briefly been to Mexico.

As I told the ladies in the office, if it wasn’t for that day trip to Tijuana and that cruise to I’d merely be a domestic man of mystery.”

Oct. 6, 2011 (via e-mail):
(When I said I didn’t have a problem with ‘sexy’ adult men’s Halloween costumes)
“Fine.  I’m going to be a sexy something this year and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

April 2, 2012 (via e-mail)
(Upon finding out that we didn’t win my work’s raffle for tickets to the A’s/Giants game)
H: “You should have tried harder.”
SM: “I have failed you, Siefu.”
H: “I’s OK. I still love you.”

April 26, 2012 (via e-mail)
(After receiving an e-mail from me about how drop off went with the kids and a teacher update about the boy.)
“I appreciate that and it’s great that we’re working together to break that frisky little colt.”

Aug. 20, 2012
“I think you should put the fruit on the bottom for the parfaits. Otherwise, there’s not enough room for the granola, and it makes a huge mess, and I can’t even stir it together. Its horrible! I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

Aug. 23, 2012 (via e-mail)
(On getting the phone number of a young woman who offered to babysit for us on occasion.)
“I think I turned beet red and sweat right through my shirt while I was getting her number.  I think it’s been more than 10 years since I got a young woman’s phone number.  I feel like a dirty old man.”

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