Last week Allie had pink eye. And then she gave it to me.
This is something they never tell you when you’re pregnant or childless. You will use all of your sick time for people other than yourself. It is ridiculous how much. And really, those “sick” drop-in centers? You can send your kid when they have a cold. Not with the flu. Not with biohazard-level pink eye. So essentially USELESS.
But I digress.
Allie’s pink eye was “normal”, and after 48 hours of medication, she was looking and feeling completely fine and was officially no longer contagious. My version of pink eye was/is in a league of its own. It is nothing I had ever experienced as a kid. My eye turned bright red. The whites of my eyes swelled, at one point, it looked like I had a pus sack on my eyeball. (Hungry anyone? No? Me neither.)
When the doctor at the urgent care clinic leaned in to examine my eye on Sunday afternoon (just more than 3 hours after I started exhibiting symptoms), he recoiled. As in, cringing, backing away, making the sign of the cross, and draping garlands of garlic around his neck. He told me he had only seen cases as bad as mine “in books.” Then he washed his hands about four times before he left, despite never coming near me without gloves.
I called in sick on Monday because the eye was constantly streaming liquid/tears/mucous and my vision was cloudy to the point that I couldn’t drive. I essentially had no peripheral vision on my right side. I spent half the day on the couch somewhere between a doze and a coma.
One day later, it had spread to my left eye. Because while I slept, my right eye leaked so much that the snail trail got into my left eye. (Are you disgusted yet?) So here I am, day 5 of medication. My left eye is mostly normal. My right eye feels normal, except for the occasional itching, but it still looks like a freak show. Two more days to go, and if my right eye isn’t normal, I get to go back for a re-check. I’ve spared my coworkers from the plague — I’ve worked from home all week.
Which brings me back to Wednesday, when the Hubbs woke me up to this endearment: “I $%*!-ing hate you.”
“What’d I do? I just woke up.”
After I put my glasses on, I saw. Pink eye. Its the gift that keeps on giving.
But Hubbs’ pink eye didn’t get better after getting eye drops from the doctor. It got worse. So today (Friday) I got to take him back to the urgent care clinic — because his eye is so bad he can barely see — and then to an optometrist, who said his case is viral. You see — Hubbs has a cold. And the mucous in his nasal passages got into his eyes. So we treat the symptoms. He gets a light steroid eye drop, artificial tears, and a lot of rest.
I won’t go into the details of how bad his eye looks today except to say that:
- From across the room, it looks like someone punched him in the eye — its red, swollen, and angry-looking;
- Its WAY worse than mine.
- It kinda looks like a zombie eye. And its totally creepy.
In other news, we’re keeping the instant hand sanitizer companies in business.
Update: 1 dose of new medication down and he no longer looks like he got punched in the eye. Progress!
The pictures of pink eye on Google were highly disappointing. My eye was way grosser than anything I saw.