Exhibitionist

My son has learned how zippers work. Specifically, how to unzip them. He unzips sweaters, jackets, the fly on my jeans (thanks honey!) … but his favorite thing to unzip: His pajamas.

Its been a trend for the past month: We’ll put him to bed and when I check on him, his clothing is in various stages of disarray. For example, the boy knocks on his bedroom door because he doesn’t want to go to sleep. When you open the door to tell him to get his keyster back in bed, he’s …

  • Standing there wearing nothing but a diaper and a smile.
  • Standing there with one arm out of the pajamas, and one halfway in with no pants and tells you “I stuck”.
  • Or he’ll go to bed with no problem and when you check on him hours later, you can see the moon shining off his bare heiney as he lays face-down in his pillow and his blankets tangled in his legs.

(I got extra parenting points for that last  one: I managed to get him back in a diaper, clothed, laid waterproof mats down over the gigantic wet spot in the bed, AND put a blanket over that, then moved him back into place without waking him up. WINNING.)

Patting yourself on the back for shelling out the extra $15 for a waterproof mattress cover? PRICELESS.

Although highly hilarious, I’m also a bit baffled by it: Why is he shucking off his clothes at night? Is he too hot? Did he pee out of his diaper? Was something itching him? Does he just prefer sleeping naked?

I have no idea. I just don’t want him to freeze.

Short of super gluing his zipper, I’ve tried a couple of ideas to keep the jammies on:

  1. Remind him to keep them on when I put him to bed;
  2. Dress him in the thinner cotton pajamas instead of the fleece ones;
  3. Let him pick his pajamas (two options);
  4. Try different styles of pajamas (long sleeve shirt and thermal pants); and
  5. Simply checking in on him more often after I know he’s asleep.

____________________

He did it again this morning.

From the monitor at 6:15 a.m., a voice chirped: “uh-oh.” A second later: “UH-OH … Mommy?”

That never translates into something good.

When I walked in, he was laying — tummy side down — in bed. Naked. No covers, no nothing. Laying in what I assumed was a cold, wet, and smelly spot. I checked on him before I went to bed, so this must have happened in the wee early hours of the morning.

He turned his face to me. “Uh-oh.”

“No kidding, Dude. Are you cold?”

“No. … Mommy?”

“Yes honey?”

“I cold.”

Welcome to communicating with a toddler.

After wiping him down, dressing him, and getting him his morning juice and banana, I stripped down his bed and threw everything — pillow included — into the washer. (Thank you “sanitary” setting!)

Now I just have to remember to throw it all (+ a tennis ball) in the dryer when I get home. I only have so many waterproof pads.

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This entry was posted in Daily.

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