I Hate New Year’s Resolutions

I really can’t stand the habit of  making a new-year’s list of resolutions. Probably because I’m not very good at them.

Instead of picking manageable things, I’ll pick something way long-term and unmanageable like “Lose 50 pounds” and … wait … the HUBBS did that this year. Hot damn. I, on the other hand, lost the baby weight, fell off the wagon, then proceeded to be dragged by said wagon — face-down through the mud — for the rest of the year.

I’ve probably gained 10 pounds since I last stepped on the scale. (Can you say “depressing”?)

Also,  I hate how guys can just go “I’m going to lose weight now” … and then they do.

It just isn’t fair. (I know, I know: LIFE isn’t fair. As if you didn’t know.) They don’t bleed out of their manly parts for a week every month. They don’t have PMS. They don’t gain weight by merely looking at chocolate cake or by eating a piece of bread. They don’t push something the size of a watermelon out of a lemon, their lemon didn’t need stitches and isn’t all “stretched out” (Thanks to the OB for that charming assessment), and they don’t have a belly that looks like a beach ball or a deranged zebra …

AND YET they drop weight more easy than we do.

More proof that if there is a god — It’s a dude. And he was probably dumped hard by some chick eons ago and THAT is why we women constantly get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

(ahem.) Moving on.

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2012:

  1. Get back on the Weight Watchers wagon and jump on one of our exercise machines at least 4x a week.
  2. Use the daily deals coupons I got for several different classes I wanted to try out (yoga, zumba, and kickboxing), and pick one to continue with for the rest of the year.
  3. Lose 25 pounds.
  4. Haul on those bootstraps a bit harder and get a move on.
  5. Figure out what the eff my hair is doing this time and find a haircut that: 1. Looks decent, and 2. (more importantly) I don’t have to spend a lot of time styling, being that every time I walk into the bathroom I’m followed by two small children who want to brush their teeth, their hair, and look through EVERY. SINGLE. ITEM. on the counter/floor/in the cabinet.
  6. Find myself again — as in getting to the point where I care enough (again) about wearing make-up on a regular basis, making myself more presentable, and not slouching around in track pants and T-shirts all the time. (The ultimate in “I don’t freaking care”).
  7. Plan weekends better, so we go out and do more structured fun things. Like the zoo or children’s museums.
  8. Cut/trim/hack the grocery bills and everything else.
  9. Make more one-on-one time for the Hubbs.
  10. Let go of more: I get into this single-minded focus of “must do x, y, z, a, b, c, d, e, f, g …” every night and it ends  with me being wiped out and Hubbs being completely alone after the kids go to bed and we eat dinner. I need to remind myself that all those things will be there tomorrow. Cut them into smaller, more manageable chunks. Whatever. (I need to flesh this one out more.)
  11. Smile more. Laugh more. (This should be on everyone’s list.)
  12. Plan a weekend (maybe several) away with the Hubbs. (I got my feet wet this year with a few overnight trips.)
  13. Plan birthday parties better and more in advance.
  14. Have more fun.

So there you have it. My resolutions for 2012. Some of them are vague and open-ended and not really “resolutions” but more like goals. But since I doubt the resolution police are going to come knocking at my door, I think I’ll be just fine.

Happy New Year to you and yours. May the new year bring you whatever it is you are seeking.

This entry was posted in Daily.

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