Dashing Through The Crazy

I had a dream the other night that I was running around a big-box store trying to snag all kinds of presents for people but all I ended up doing was sprinting up and down aisles with nothing in my basket. While screaming. And all the shelves were empty.

I don’t think I want to know what that means.

By the way, I’m still not done with my Christmas shopping. I’m procrastinating in a major way and that never ends well. It’s like I’m in denial that it is — in fact — December.  The fifth to be exact. And exactly four day’s before Allie’s 1st birthday party (family), exactly 8 days before her birthday, exactly 12 days before her non-family birthday party, and exactly 20 days until Christmas.

This means that it has been exactly negative five days since I officially went out of my mind.

In other news:

  • My “little” brother is graduating from college this month. This makes me feel very old. He doesn’t have a job lined up yet. This doesn’t surprise me, but makes me very anxious all the same. I’m also very, very proud of him.
  • We visited Santa twice this weekend. I was hoping that by introducing the idea of him on Saturday, it would make for good pictures on Sunday. Our experience proves that there is no logic with children and that Santa will always be scary — at least until they figure out that free present thing.
  • We watched Santa parachute from a plane to our local airport on Saturday. It was insanely windy and cold, and he almost flipped upside down at one point. Santa’s got some brass … presents … I’ll give him that.
  • Sean told Santa he wanted a lion, elephant, frog, bunny, mouse, airplane, truck, and a monkey for Christmas. But refused to get within 10 feet of the elf.
  • Allie took one look at the beard and cried.
  • On Sunday, we took the kids to our real estate agent’s office and tried again. Both kids cried. But Santa gave them stuffed puppets as gifts. Sean got a raccoon. Allie got a unicorn that she hasn’t seen since she opened it — her brother confiscated it and hasn’t let go of either toy since.
  • We “decorated” our tree last night. The kids were interested enough to hang about 16 ornaments before getting bored. I’m thinking we’ll leave the tree as-is and call it a holiday.
  • If the attendance at Allie’s upcoming friend birthday party is any indication of the future, I already feel sorry for her teenage years. You can’t compete with Christmas plans, you just can’t.
  • I’m giving a ton of baby gear to a friend who will be babysitting her niece full-time in the near future. You have no idea how happy this makes me. I will have ROOM in my house again! (Well, some room.)
  • When complaining to the Hubbs about how tired I am, he said: This is what happens when you try to be wonder woman when you’re wiped out.
    To which I responded: Dude, I’m ALWAYS Wonder Woman. Just like Clark Kent is always Superman underneath.

Hey, I never claimed to be modest.

  • I need to program our thermostat to shut off while we’re at work. I keep forgetting.
  • I still haven’t started exercising again. In case you were curious, it shows. My ass is huge.
  • I need to write a list of everything I need for Allie’s birthday party on Saturday. Or my head might implode. Again.
  • Ohmygawd I haven’t ordered the cake yet!
  • I have a spider bite on my ankle. I know that it was from a spider because it looks like I have two ankle bones right now.
  • Did I mention that I’m sensitive to insect bites, and particularly spider bites?
  • In the third grade, I was carried to the office by a teacher because I had a spider bite on my pinkie finger and had red lines snaking halfway up to my elbow. My pinkie was so swollen it was the size of my thumb.
  • OK, must start exercising again and eating “on plan” and tracking it!
  • I made chicken tikka masala in the slow cooker for dinner tonight. I can’t wait to try it!
  • Chicken tikka masala has heavy cream in it. So diet friendly!
  • I also lose all sense of portion control when eating it.  So delicious!
  • Confession: I didn’t do all the cooking prep work for the above recipe. I marinated the chicken for 10 minutes and then mixed the sauce separately and poured it on top of the raw chicken.  In my mind, slow cookers should = easy. We’ll see how it turns out.
  • Must call bakery to order cake!

p.s: Allie says happy holidays.

She is so patient with me ...

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This entry was posted in Daily.

2 comments on “Dashing Through The Crazy

  1. Erin says:

    I love that you were screaming in the dream. That just adds another level of hilarity. Also: I am officially worried about where I’m going to put this baby stuff. hahahahah…

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